Missions Adventures #1: The Ukraine

I was recently talking to someone at church about my passion for missions. It's a topic that I could talk about for days on end and never get tired of it. Sometimes I have to stop myself, knowing that it's not as interesting to everyone else. Anyway, this particular time while I was sharing a little of my heart, something the other person said really got my attention... they said "Wow, you should really do a teaching or something on this." Thinking that they were probably just being nice, I put it in the back of my mind. The next day, though, God brought the conversation back to my mind while I was pondering what to write next about in my blog. As a result, I'm going to do a blog series about all of my missions experiences. Here's number one: The Ukraine.

To be honest, I don't remember a whole lot from this trip. It was the winter of 2006 and my mom was asked to speak at a women's conference there. I remember arriving at the Kiev airport, in total of shock of what was going on. For the first time in my life I didn't understand anything that was going on around me. Everywhere I looked people were staring or trying to communicate something to me and I had absolutely no idea what they were saying! For the first time in my life, I realized that I was very very small and that there was a whole world out there that I knew nothing about.

Some of the things that stick out to me about Ukraine when I think back on my trip include the bitter coldness of the air, eating a LOT of McDonalds, searching for spiders in the shower everyday, and the breathtaking view of the city lights from my hotel room. I specifically remember the night we arrived, I turned on the TV in the room only to realize that I couldn't understand a word that was being said. Instead of trying to read the tiny subtitles at the bottom of the screen, I opted to sit on the window seat, looking out on the city. Up to that point in my life, I had never seen such a big city lit up at night. I couldn't believe it. I sat there for hours, writing in my journal and listening to the constant sound of beeping taxi drivers and the whistle of the train. Now, thinking back on it, I'm sure it wasn't really THAT beautiful. I think that in my 11 year old mind, though, it truly was the coolest thing I had ever seen. For the rest of the trip, I made that window seat mine. Every single night I would sit there, all bundled up, just staring.

The one thing that sticks out to me the most about Ukraine is the deep depression of the city. Even at such a young age, I recognized the bondage of the nation. One of the first nights we were there, we went to a restaurant in the city. We had to park a ways away which meant a long walk (we did a lot of walking there!). We passed a mall where there were a lot of people standing around. Most of the women were dressed in fancy fur coats, fish net tights, and high heals. The men all looked mean to me. I remember feeling suddenly very unsafe. I also sensed a change in my parents and our translator's attitude. Suddenly, we were walking a little faster than before and stuck a little closer together. I was ok with that because most of the men were smoking and the sooner we got out of there, the sooner I could breathe again! Later, my parents explained to me that what we experienced was probably prostitution. Looking back on it, it makes me sick. Writing it brings tears to my eyes. I can't help but think "What would Jesus have done?" Would He have lashed out like He did at the temple, scolding the people? Or would He have simply stood off to the side praying? Or maybe He would have actually purchased a woman only to set her free. I don't know this for sure, and, other than Jesus being a radical guy who hung out with tax collectors, I can't say that I have Biblical knowledge to back my theory up. I do know, though, that He certainly wouldn't have just started walking faster. Not that I am in any way belittling the way our situation was handled, considering the fact that we were an American family in a foreign country where it would have been very easy for people to take advantage of us. Safety was our number one priority. And for that I am very thankful. I am saying, though, that Jesus wasn't scared of people who were maybe a little rough around the edges. He felt genuine compassion for them. More importantly, He still feels genuine compassion for them. After that, it has been my prayer that every time I encounter someone who is "a little rough around the edges" I don't just walk faster and avoid eye contact. But that I do what Jesus would have done: welcome them with open arms.

The last thing that I remember about The Ukraine is the hunger of the people. While we were there, we attended a huge conference where my mom was speaking. Although we had to wear head phones in order to understand what was being said most of the time, I remember thinking "I have never met Christians like this before." There was so much rejoicing in that room. Over what? I'm not really sure. In my mind it was really cold, the toilet where the conference was held consisted of a hole in the ground, and all they had to eat were the jelly-filled, powdered covered "treats" that were in Narnia. However, the way these people worshipped was absolutely incredible. They soaked in every ounce of Jesus they could find.

I will never forget the relief of being home. I liked our trip, but I do remember thinking "Well now I know I'm not really called to missions." I enjoyed being home a lot more than being half-way across a globe! I think that at that moment God probably laughed at me. I hope that you will continue to read my blog series. You will find out that God does have a sense of humor. At the time, I had absolutely no idea the passion that Jesus was planting in my heart. It's a passion that will never make me money, gets overwhelming a lot of times, and even causes me a lot of sadness sometimes. But, it is the most fulfilling duty God has ever laid on my heart; it's a passion for the nations.

Comfortably Uncomfortable

Have you ever had one of those days where just everything seemed to go wrong? It was like nothing at all went the way it was supposed to. I recently had one of those days. Probably the first thing that most of my friends or family would tell you about me is that I'm an organizer. I'm always on top of things and very good at keeping everything under control. God recently decided to teach me a lesson about this though... Read about it.

This weekend a friend and I were traveling to a scholarship competition. We were excited, nervous, and ready to get our interviews over with! After going through security and getting some dinner, we walked to our gate. Glancing out the window, I couldn't help but notice the harsh weather outside. "Oh great" I mumbled to myself, praying it would die down before boarding time. Well, sure enough, a voice came over the speakers informing us that we would not be taking off in this weather... We could only sit tight until we could board. We eventually boarded, supposedly with plenty of time to make our next flight. After sitting on the runway for another hour, we finally took off. Right before we landed, I mentioned that I wasn't confident we were going to make our connecting flight. We did the only thing that we knew would help: pray. We both had peace even though the next day was one of the biggest days of our lives (a $20,000 scholarship on the line). Well, a much longer story shortened is that we didn't make our flight and ended up having to stay in a strange city that night. Thankfully, I have family in the area so we weren't left in the cold all night. I was trusting God, but at the same time saying things to Him like "Really God?" "Don't you control the weather? You knew this was going to happen." "I'm already so nervous and this isn't really helping."

To make the story even more interesting, the airline lost our luggage in the process. Both of us were wearing jeans and t-shirts, thinking that we would be able to take a hot shower and change our clothes before our interviews. That, however, definitely wasn't the case. When we finally arrived to campus, it was 4 hours after our original interview time, we were wearing the same clothes we had been for 24 hours, and we were luggageless. We were immediately rushed into the biggest building on campus for a luncheon where the president of the university was speaking. Thankfully, my sister was waiting for us with nice clothes and everything a girl could need to freshen up. We walked in late to the luncheon and saw 250 other high school seniors who all looked professional, calm, and not the least bit stressed.

Now, of course at this point I had already been up for about 9 hours, smelled like an airplane, and was sure I had bags under my eyes. Once again the thought "Really God?" occurred to me. But this time another thought immediately followed it. "Yes, really." At that moment a peace that passed all understanding flooded me.

You see, when I feel inadequate, God says that He's not looking for adequacy, but for a willing heart. When I feel stressed, God lavishes His peace upon me, holding nothing back. When I'm facing a storm Jesus speaks "Peace be still." Sometimes, though, God allows the lack of confidence, the everyday stresses of life, and some rain to teach us a lesson. What He was teaching me is that I, Joni McLeod, don't have all the answers in life. I am inadequate. And, no matter how "good" of a planner I am, He has my life under control - not a $20,000 scholarship.

I can work hard and do my best, but at the end of the day it's God who decides the outcome. The bible says that the most intelligent man is equivalent to the dumbness of God. When I first read this verse I had trouble with it. This means that God has a dumb side? I asked myself. But that's not what I think this verse means. To me, it means that even when I ace a test, God is still smarter. Even when I plan a great trip, God is still all-powerful. Even when I face a trial, whether it be lost luggage or Leukemia, God still holds my world in His hands. My life isn't really mine at all. It's the creation, the very image of God that was made solely to reflect His heart.

MLK: a name, a man, a hero, a world changer.

Today is a day that America has set aside to remember one of the greatest leaders who has ever lived in our country: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. To be honest, other than the two Facebook statuses I have read about him today, I have not really thought or "remembered" him at all. Now, this is probably mostly my fault. All I knew was that I got an extra day off of school to study for my upcoming mid-terms. But then I really started thinking about it; I, an American student, got a whole day off of school for a man who was never an American president. The post offices and banks were closed for a man who was hated by many in his lifetime. The news gives a special segment to a man who, some would argue, caused a lot of chaos in our country. So what's the big deal? Why do I get a day off of school for some guy who was just crazy enough to think he might actually be able to change something??

You see, I hope that reading this you're thinking the same thing I am... I'm thinking that because of this ordinary guy, I live in a country where, for the most part, people aren't judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. But you see, I didn't want to write about him because of his incredible speaking abilities or his ability to draw a crowd.  As grateful as I am for being able to live in free country, that's not why I wanted to write about Martin Luther King Jr either. I wanted to write about him because he was a world changer. He wouldn't take compromise for an answer and he was willing to die for a cause that he held very close to his heart. Because of that, I look up to him. I want to be like him because he was a world changer.

Recently, I spent a week in Mexico building a house and teaching little kids about Jesus. Seems pretty stressful, huh? Actually, it was one of the best weeks of my life. I love missions. In fact, I love it so much sometimes I have to remind myself that I was made to worship God, not just be a missionary. To me, nothing, absolutely nothing, can compare to the feeling of seeing someone's face when they realized that an American teenager came hundreds (even thousands) of miles to help them. It's humbling, inspiring, and breathtaking all at the same time. I like to think that the same feeling I get when I look into the eyes of a Mexican woman accepting Jesus for the first time is the same feeling that MLK got when he walked up to that podium and saw the 250,000 people who had gathered to hear him speak. I like to think that it was the same feeling that Paul and Silas felt as they worshipped their hearts out in prison. I like to think that it's the same feeling that Abraham Lincoln had when he signed the Emancipation Proclamation. I like to think that it's the same feeling Esther had when she read her Uncle's words "Such a time as this." I believe that it's a God-ordained passion that lives in every single person to do something great, to be someone great.

You see, I don't think that Martin Luther is just as different from you as you may think. He lived in a broken world, so do you. He had resources to fix some of that brokenness, so do you. He was called for "such a time as this," so are you. Let me take this opportunity to encourage you to follow in this great man's footsteps. Do you have a passion? Do you love kids? Do you hurt when you see an orphaned kid on the TV without food? Does your heart beat a little faster when you see a homeless man holding a sign on the corner? Have you ever seen something so horrific it made your heart hurt a little? These, my friend, are signs of compassion. It's a God-given feeling that pushes us towards action. I pray that as you read this, something has been on your mind. Maybe it's someone you know who's hurting, maybe it's a cause. Whatever it is, I pray that this will urge you to do something about it. Because, after all, you were created for such a time as this.

My First Blog: [Created For] Such A Time As This

So, I'm kinda new to this... I've never been the "blogger type." But it's something God has placed on my heart to do. And maybe, just maybe, He'll use me to speak to someone else (although I can't imagine anyone other than my mom reading this!!).
Anyway, I thought for my first blog I would write about my blog title "Such A Time As This." If you've ever been to Sunday School you probably recognize the quote. It's from the story of Esther, which happens to be one of my favorite Bible stories. You see we read this quote right when Esther has had enough: she's been orphaned and in the care of her uncle, she's found herself living in the palace with the king, and she's now discovered that her whole race is about to be wiped out. This is my favorite part of the story because this is when we really get to know Esther. Up until now we picture her as a nice, pretty young girl living the dream. Kind of like Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries. But now, in the climax of the story, we discover that she's determined and courageous. She sends word to her uncle asking him what she should do about their race. He sends back a letter saying "Maybe you were created for such a time as this."
Have you ever thought about that?? I mean really thought about it. You wanna know what I think about it? I think that it's just as relevant today as it was three thousand years ago. I  believe that God is whispering that to each and every one of us every day. When I drive by the homeless man on the street "Hey Joni, you were created for such a time as this." When I see that kid sitting alone in the lunch room "Hey Joni, you were created for such a time as this." When I see the stressed mom trying to control her kids at the grocery store "Hey Joni, you were created for such a time as this."
You see, God's speaking. We're the problem. Imagine that!! Me, a problem?? Yes, it's true. We, as humans, tend to only hear what we want to. It's like when I'm at the dinner table and my mom says "Hey, if you put gas in the car you can use it this weekend." Well, all I choose to hear is "you can have the car this weekend." Then once the weekend comes and I call my mom asking for gas money she goes on to ask why I took the car if I couldn't afford the gas. Well, it's like that with God too. We can't just read the part of the Bible that says "He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins" and not read about caring for the widow and pleading for the orphan. If we want the rewards of Christian living we need to hear everything God says. Not just that we can have the car, but that we need to put gas in it to make it go.
God's calling you; He's calling us. He's saying "Now is your time. I put you in that school for a reason. I gave you that job not only so that you could feed your family but so that you could feed my sheep. You want to know why your family doesn't know me yet? Because I gave them you to tell them. You were created for now."
I hear Him. Do you?